The best bit of parenting advice I ever received was this -- "think of your children as aliens from another planet."
This has been so beneficial to me over the years. They've only recently arrived here in this world, and they simply don't know how it works yet. The rules of tact and normative behavior are clear to you and me. They're still feeling things out.
I think often we're too quick to assume bad motives in kids when they make a mistake -- especially when they say or ask inappropriate things. Rather than assume sinful motives, I'm trying these days to see things first from their perspective.
Sometimes discipline is needed. But often they just need help acculturating to life here on planet earth.
Posted by Discoshaman at février 2, 2005 12:30 AM | TrackBack
best parenting advice I ever received - you have to be patient. really patient. (I thought I knew the meaning of the word patience but in truth I did not until...)
Posted by: Hello at février 2, 2005 01:54 AMOne thing that has been an eye-opener for me is to realize what TIME means to a child. A child of 5 is 1/7th my age (35, for the less mathematically inclined). For me, 1 year is 1/35th of my life experience. Or 2.8%. For the 5 year old, it is 1/5th, or 20%. That year seems like a lifetime. 20% of my life would be 7 years.
It's a concept that was first introduced to me by Sheldon VanAuken, the author of the book "A Severe Mercy". There he describes the sense of timelessness when he and his wife sat together on the deck of their yacht in the Caribbean. He related that he didn't know whether that moment was 1 minute or 1 hour, and it was then that it occured to him that there was something more to life. A moment that could last for a minute or for an hour had to be indicative of eternity, and eternity is a residence of God Almighty.
I have taken that understanding (that time is really relative to experience) to raising and dealing with my child (and ALL her chatty Kathy friends).
We think we're patient to hold our breath for a few minutes, but when you realize how long those few minutes really are to a child, it's amazing they dont' get into more mischief.
Sorry for the ramble, just wanted to share.
Posted by: Marty in Oregon at février 3, 2005 12:16 PM